Today is my son’s birthday! I nearly almost forgot. After doing nearly half of my morning routes. I thought of my son for a second then remember its September 2, 2009 already. Quickly I called Melissa and ask if she could take over my traffic this morning. Boy without Melissa help I would probably be out of job by now. With the constant days of taking my mother in law to the doctors and appointments it would leave me with no job.
I finished all my routes at 5:30am then went home to take a shower. After the show I packed up my cell phone gears then hop on the car and head south to Olympia to be with my son. Only different this time is it’s my son 2nd birthday. I arrived at Olympia probably around 9ish. My son was still asleep when I arrived. Shortly after I arrived my son woke up running towards me. It’s been close to a week now that he hasn’t seen me. I’m sure he really missed me. With his warm body against mine makes me feel warm. I picked him up and went to the bathroom to wash his face so he would wake up better. After that we got dress drove Grandpa to the doctor. It seem like my father caught a cold. I was afraid that my son would catch the cold so I gave him Tylenol as a precaution. After going to the doctor we went to Safeway to drop of prescriptions and hanged around there to pick up the meds. After that we went home to eat. Home food! I have to admit is the best food in the world. Leaving my parent’s 8 years in the real world made me realize best food is home. I ate at thousand of restaurants that are good but then when swallowing home food it made me feel at home. I made rice with eggs and soy sauce for my son to eat. After that I gave him his milk! Boy I hate chasing him with a syringe. My ex-wife Ngoc-Tran Nguyen sure was lazy! She taught him to drink off syringe which made it really difficult disciplining him. While grandpa took his rest my son and I went to the mall for a walk. I haven’t been to Capital Mall for ages so it a great idea to walk there. I took my son to the kids places to play with other kids. Sitting there watching my son play and interact with other kids sure makes a different. When he acted inappropriately I yelled at him. I ran over to him and held his hand and looked into his eyes told him not to push others. After taking that parent planning class prior to divorce I learned that being a parents takes a lot more than just feeding and caring. Understanding our kids and knowing how they feel. IT’S A CHALLENGE! It was a challenge learning when my wife is mad, when she’s upset, when when when!
After hanging around at the mall it was around 2 already. While carrying my son out of the mall I can feel his light weight. He’s falling asleep on my shoulders. We went home and sleep till 4 till grandma came home with Trieu’s birthday cake. Later around 6 Uncle Nghia came over too with my son’s present. After having dinner we did a small simple birthday cake for my son. Here’s the pictures birthday http://www.cardinnguyen.com/gallery/v/Trieu2009Birthday/
While watching my brothers and son play in the yard and celebrating. Tears came down my faces like many times at night thinking about my life. The pictures were missing Trieu’s mother. Trieu mother and I worked very hard to maintain a good relationship but then when it comes to money we all break apart. This is when I started to blame myself for not making money. This is when I ask myself is it because I don’t make enough money like her new boyfriend SpeedyGlass guy? This is when I asked the ultimate question. It’s almost 10 and his mother haven’t even called to say happy birthday to him. Is money really that important. It hurts to think about it. What have I done wrong? Am I being punish for not making enough money. Mehhhhh bad thoughts of life kicks into play is always a nightmare. Tears kept coming like April rains. How could my wife not call and say happy birthday to my son when she knows my son is with me. What changed her so much that made her boyfriend SpeedyGlass that she met at the club more important than our son. What happen to those days when my ex-wife was carrying Trieu for a whole year? We would listen to the baby every night together. Why can’t we sit down and work our differences? That’s when I realize many questions can’t be answer.
While those question roam through my head like a dripping faucet I packed up slowly without my son noticing to head home. Before heading home I was in my shorts so my son wouldn’t know I’m heading back to Bellingham without him. I went up to him and gave him a 1 minute hug enough time to feel his warm body and to whisper in his ears “Sorry! Mom and Dad loves you. Mom loves you. Be strong”. Then I drop him down so he continue to play with his uncles.
while driving back to Bellingham it was really hard to drive back to Bellingham and think. Think of life. Think of my son and of course my wife. A relationship that I don’t want to let go but I must let go because she is happier. I can tell through her voices when she call 3 days earlier that she is happy with her new boyfriend. Questions kept coming and I kept digging for answer trying to answer every question to satisfy my ambitions. During that 3 hours drive back to Bellingham I realize that parent planning class was right. For whatever reason my ex-wife left me it has already been done. Before today I thought my son and I could wait out the hardship. Wait out the age where my wife want to play, parties, tries out other opportunities with guys. I hoped one day she would forgive me for what I’ve done or what I’ve done. I hope that with my son love and my love; she will come back to be my wife and mother of my son. I don’t mind she is sleeping with other guys because it doesn’t matter. I loved her so I could wait her a thousand years. It has already been done and I should move on a path that I should be. I’m going to fight or custody of my son and grow him up. If I win I’m going to teach him to be a great boy. I will always tell him his mother loves him and we do care for him.
If he ask where’s mommy! I’ll just simple say mommy is busy with her life, but she loves you. Mommy and Daddy just don’t have anything in common anymore as we grow distance. I would simple tell him that its adult matters and make sure he knows that we love him. I’m going to try my hardest to keep his mothers affairs out of the picture.
But if one day he ask me “what happen to mommy at my 2nd years old birthday?” this is when I don’t know how to answer him. Telling a lie really hurts. I just can’t tell him that on his second birthday his mom is out with speedy glass renting a hotel together. But the good side is she can’t have sex in front of my son. Rumors sure travel fast I have to admit. But I was hoping it was a false rumor. But this rumor can’t be false because the guy that works at the hotel is my friend who went to school with me. BUT whatever the cause is I’m biting my tongue and continue to tell my son the lies till he’s old enough to understand his mom. Jimmy changed his mom to love money while she worked at that nail place. For whatever mom changed to mom still love son.”
well that’s it folks that’s how I felt today. Have a nice day! Keep me in your prayers and pray for my wife to find a rich man for me. Though we’re separated like I stated many times. I still hope she find the riches she is out there finding so she stop hurting others who fall for her like I did. So pray for me and wish her the best for me!