Ya know what? I couldn’t be much happier. Being a by stander and looking at others be happy, it makes me more happier. Yesterday, LinLin called me up somehow. Don’t know how she found my new number, but somehow she found it on her own. I left work today at 2 today just for a coffee with her at Starbucks. While sitting there having Green Tea Frap with her. I don’t know what to say to her. I just smile like I always.
She said “I’m really sorry. I didn’t know what to do”
I said “you don’t have to. this smile will always be with you.” and I smiled understanding every aspects of her.
She said “you really do? ”
I said “Yes LinLin” and gave a smerkle smile again.
She said “Could we ever be friends?”
I said “Yes Lin, we’re always friend from the day we haven’t spoke.”
We sat there and stared at each other from 2:20pm to 4:30. We didn’t say much, but I couldn’t be more proud of myself than ever. It’s not that I hurt her in anyway, but its the support that I have given. As long as LinLin is happy and decide on a path. I’ll always be there for those whom I have loved.
What I learned in life is, Smiling is my way out of everything. I want to be the support of my love ones. I don’t want to be questioning my love ones decisions. I rather be there to pull and jiggle their hands when they are stuck. Recently I fell in love again, loved this friend as a friend, but she quite don’t understand herself yet. Therefore she rather locks herself in our own coldness heart again to believe I’m a crazy mental person instead of believing the fact that her unrealistic life is playing tricks on her. She rather hold tight on to hear coldness minds instead of realizing what is the meaning of loving. Letting one past away than realizing the mistakes that she made, than in the end she draws her self back to where she was.
What she doesn’t understand about me is: what ever she decide I’ll always be there to support those who I once have cared. My smile will always be there with me to support you.
My meeting with LinLin was a really understanding one. At the end of the hang out she gave me a hug and said “Thanks Cardin” and gave me a light kiss on the cheeks.
I don’t hope this meeting with ever happen ever again. But I do hope to see her once a year just to know she is doing ok or else I’ll just be praying by the day hoping that she is doing ok.
Sometimes life isn’t about words. Its about the smile on our face. I didn’t make it hard for her but I supported her. Appreciation is all it counts. Though we didn’t say more then 50 words.
What makes a break up beautiful is:
We did not say anything bad with each other.
15 years later we see the past as a memory that exist in our hearts but couldn’t turn back in time. We’re just friends from now on.
This rules applies to friendship too. Real friends will never abandon you no matter what happens, what you did. I will always be true friends to those I care.
Those who abandon you are those who never really see you as a friend.
Once again, I was promise a friend, but that friend abandon me, because …………. But then I gained an understanding from a friend I never abandoned “LinLin”.
To LinLin, I know you’re reading this and I’m happy you are reading this. Else you wouldn’t be able to find my phone number. I’m not mental, I’m not crazy. That’s just my way of loving and living my life here on earth. I’m happy for you girl. If we ever get a chance next life. I hope we can be friends since we will have no memory of this life.
To the Person who no longer see me as a friend; I understand why you are doing and what you’re doing. I don’t mind what you call me, mental, crazy, liar, or what ever you say to others. You have nothing for me to lie for. You have nothing that I want. I wanted a friend. Your boundaries of a friend don’t exist and you blame it on others. But you have sparked my life and understanding of whom I am. My smile will always be the same. I will never abandon my friends. I have many friends who left me. I have few friends who have left me. But I still have a great friend who never said a single thing after she have left. She’s a real lover to a friend no matter what position we are in. Thats how I see you. I dont see you as a lover. I see you as a friend.
Thank you Lin. Thank you for all your wonderful email my internet readers. Thank you for the great support all these years.