Hmm summers rolling up and I got no plans except working. I guess its about time that I should get a job. Working online all the time isnt the key to everything. Well lately I’ve been talking alot to Trev. and seem to get everything straight. I guess hitting the bald point at the wrong time. Every one seem to have everything so busy and need each one another to do their part in their actions.
Well lately I haven’t been puting too much time on viettunes as I can see viettunes not going anywhere. The reason that its not going anywhere is the structure of it. I feel its base on movies only and not others. I feel like running a website and wasting my money. I kind of doing want to back up because of Vinh. The thing is we’re not even breaking even. I’m actually losing money from the Unlimited bandwidth server. no one actually will understnad how much effort I put into. I didnt want to tell him that the project was a failure. I dont want to tell tuyen to do this and that. I just want the website to automatically run on its own. But thats impossible to do. I’m kind of tired standing behind the stage and seeing the acting and directing all the actions.
For many years now that I’ve been trying to help friends through their life, but when looking at mine I cant lead myself out of this mess. Chris if you ever see this. We could of be friends. it hurts me so much for something you did that I had to take over. I had to lie over it. you coul of stood up for what you did. well ahhh, I was only trying to do my english 100 homework but it turn out to a nightmare. For the past three years I cant study because of that. At night when I try to study I always have that tention of something bad happening. Nothings going into my head anymore because of this. After coming back from studying that night I see her there in the corner of her bed all curling up and crying. I dont know what to say as I took the blame and her out for the abort.
Moving on…well I guess I’m happy that Jasmine doing ok. Though she tried to help people in thailand but passed away thats quite sad. When Tuyen said those who are around me tend to pass away or have bad luck, it makes me really sad. I guess if thanh see that then it must be true. I’ll from now on stay away from Monica and all those who I know and see the results. It seem so true now after she pointed that out. Maybe its true…
As for Nicole, I’m happy that she found something that she wanted to do. I hope for the best of her. I’m happy for Be Ngoc also, now that shes ready to get marry with her new bf. Nancy is also ready to mary Tuan which is quite scary. Them all being young and getting marry is really scary thought.
well as for Vinh, I’m quite happy that I got a good friend. Though I dont know nothing of him but it seem like I know alot when we’re around. Maybe I do, we share alot of things with each other. Though I haven’t share nothing about Tuyen with him but one thing I did share was I really do do care for her. But I guess later on I found out the crisis and did stop it but it was too late. she had the glimpes for him already. Why is there so many hate in this world?
Why does ngan hate her so much? Why does Son have to post all the past chat logs? Why am I in the middle of this? Why am I here to listen to all this? Why cant I have a normal human life like others? Why am I born at this time? There’s so many whys jumppping around my head.
But over all I guess things is alot better now. Maybe its meant to be this way. Well its great to see Thanh develope a scense of exploring and stepping out of her box. Thats great! now shes begining to see what its like in the real world. I also asked alot of people in Tacoma to give her a hand by taking her out more. I know I will lose Tuyen this way. But hey its the best I can do is to let her explorer. From all the friends I asked them to take her out and introduce her to many other (those who I dont know) it could let her see the true stories of life. As I’ll always be here to be that one brick wall blocking and walking alone behind the shadow of my own.