Finally my partner and I are working on the new version of CN.com website. Its going to be release in a month or so. The last few days I been pushing to get this through so it doesn’t look so plain. Since I got my son with me know I’ll probably going to include him in majority of my pictures. Second of all I’m still working on Prive Solutions. So much work to do!
Kakak! Sorry no video journal today! But anyways I’ll discuss about “Bua Ngai” what ever that means right? Hehe! Well its like a so call Vietnamese Curse. Back in March when my ex-mother inlaw went back to Vietnam and planned to live there. When she changed her mind she bought back “Bua Ngai” for my ex-wife. So innocent as I am and didn’t care what was going on in the household. It’s a curse! A curse that makes my wife more money and brings mens to her! What a Whore right? Meh don’t think it that way. But anyways it’s a piece of paper that she burns and dirnk with a bottom of perfume that she spray on herself. I thought it was a normal perfume but afer discussing it with my family members in Vietnam they told me its not a perfume but a curse. Now that bought me to thinking back? Why? Why do these kinds of things when we’re still together? Werid eh? Well it’s a well planned move by her family. All I wanted was a family so I neglect to see these kinds of “Bua Ngai”. Tra Vinh is a province in Vietnam famous for “Bua Ngai” due to the fact that its close to CamBuChia. Sad eh? Can’t believe tha while you’re in a relationship and this is happening right?
You RIGHT! It hurts as fawk knowing that you pour your heart out and ignore whats going on around you just to make another family day. Knowing your ex-wife cheated on you because she want to live the lifestyle of being rich. That gotta hurt right? It does hurt so much! But then the moral of my lesson that I learn is that nothing is pernament. Above all people can give up everything for money. Scary eh? That’s why we even have wars and battles all over the places. But then theres some of those who drop everything to be with a human being we created. I’m one of them! I tried to make it work. I was yell like a dog by my ex-wife. I was bitch like a dog by my ex-wife. I was beated worse then a dog by my ex-wife and chewed by my ex-father in-law. That’s the pain that I had to take to make a young child dream come true when I was young. I took it because I want Trieu to have a family like those on TVs, like those in childs minds as the grow up is seeing one perfect family.
The other sad part of this story is hangging around with peers! Peer pressure sure does make a different. My ex-wife was working at sister Thuy store and she is so much like a wife. She didn’t go out as much and didn’t ask as much. Ever since she moved over to Jimmy’s place she started to change. She asked more and started to have a higher standard of living. She started to carry expensive things that we couldn’t afford. That’s when I’m expected to provide. <sigh> what a life eh? But anyways, growing up I was taught peer pressure makes a huge different. I do believe that they make differences in what we choose. But then now I actually experience it the hard way.
<Sigh> What is happiness? Is it money?
<sigh> What is a perfect family? Is it money?
<sigh> What is a dream? Is it money?
<sigh> What are we doing? God knows!
<sigh> Happiness work on through perfection…money makes it simplier to walk but more issues pop up one way or another. So who cares…lets make it another day!
That’s what I learn the last few days! Bua Ngai! Danger!
Well I still hope the best for my ex-wife! Give love! Not war!
After leaving I learn so many things! Raising up a child we have to be a role model for our children! That’s the challenge of life! No matter what his mother has done she is still his mother! I’ll continue to whisper good things and let him figure what happen as he grew up. I also figured its best to let my son figure all himself because bad mouthing or even saying anything against the other parent is not a good way to raising up my son. Someday he’ll grow up to be a man and have his own decision-making process to see whats right.
My goal now is to forget the past and try to make the best of every dime I make to raise up my son! All my friends/family I do beg you please don’t think bad of my ex-wife but pray along with me. Pray that my ex-wife does find her happiness that she defines for herself. Pray for myself that I make it through another day!